Fountain Boy

……not really. :\

To be honest, sometimes I don’t really have anything on my mind when I listen to things. I just go into simply listening mode, being the perfectly attentive audience or cathartic vent-ee for the speaker/message.

When things do stir me, my tendencies are to wait for others to say what’s on my mind because I believe they do it better and embellish more. I wait for everyone to go around and see if all my points are covered….THEN I may add the P.S. at the end if something in my mental note-taking was missed.

Most of the time, I’m just that people-pleaser. I’d adopted this “shut my hole and do what they say cuz I’m sick of hearing them go on” or “I don’t want to drag this out into a year-long debate with no real winner” attitude from some members of my family. In other words, if I just submit, they’ll shut up. And boy, do some of those family members just love the sounds of their voices.

With friends and peers, I don’t want to come off as intimidating or a depressing killjoy - though I believe I fail with the latter a lot. I know, I know, I’m encouraged to be more assertive and give an opinion when we go around in a circle…. but I’m just not wired for giving responses so freely….?

There are few (rare) times I feel the need to speak up, but I still fall back on waiting for someone else to go first and see if they cover my points before giving my two cents.

When I get emotional, though, that goes all out the window. I find my refuge for saying what’s on my mind (and more) through journaling and writing. I trust when I die, whoever digs them up and goes through them, will get that better understanding of me.

Ask me anything